COLOURS

There I was, laying on an extremely clean bed, all by myself wondering where all the others were. I was sure I had company, I felt it. Silence. Not even my own voice, though again I was certain I had heard someone shouting. Heart beats. Mine? Probably, since I appeared to be alone in the room. Loneliness. So many feelings and, at the same time, I wasn’t sure I could feel anything.
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I blinked. There, now I could see all the people again. And how happy we were. Great music was playing. We were all dancing. Romance. I felt the touch of him, his kisses. Oh, his moist lips. Those blue eyes staring me so deeply, studying every inch of my skin very carefully. How he knew his way around… And I could practically smile at him the whole day and only wish for more. When looking again into his eyes, I saw it: the red tear. For a moment I thought he was crying. Then I realised I had just caught a glimpse of myself reflected in his left eye. And his image blurred, faded out. Where did he go? Where was everybody?

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From the floor, I looked up. Everyone around me. I was so glad I could finally feel part of a group. It was an amazing sensation, like a dance. Only that my head was spinning, the room was moving and so were all the others, but not my body. It was as stiff as it could be, just waiting to feel again, to touch, to be touched. Oh, what a breathtaking view, a human rainbow above my head. It was like playing musical chairs, being the chair myself.

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I was handed a glass brimming with brightly coloured particles. It looked like a snowy souvenir of blue, pink, yellow, brown, green flakes. It sounded enticingly delicious. I made my move towards it. Infectious laughter – all around. Getting completely carried away I drained the glass at one gulp. Emptiness. Suddenly, the dance floor looked magnificent! I felt an urge to kiss it and so I did. I was touching soft white skin; I could feel strong hands all over me. My tongue tasting the warm, inviting wooden planks. They suddenly turned black.

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I looked around. My mind was playing tricks at me. The snow, the rainbow, the tear… Nothing was really there. A spotlessly clean wall, that was all I could see. I woke up. This time lights faded. Pitch dark. Silence. No heart beats. Was I really awake? Last things that came to my mind were his vivid image and my own mocking voice: “People die… Everyone knows that”. Colourless me.